John's death, 6th October 2020
My lovely John died this afternoon.
John was diagnosed with Cancer of the Bowel and Gastrointestinal tract in February 2020, and was given “a few short months or even weeks” to live. So we’ve done very well to make it to the 6th of October, and have celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary, and John’s 75th birthday along the way. He smoked his pipe and enjoyed his cricket right up to the very last day of his life, and died quickly and peacefully at home.
He took a turn for the worse in the last 24 hours. We both had a sleepless night last night, and John was very distressed with breathing problems and anxiety. Then he slept through this morning like a baby, and woke at about half one. The district nurse visited to administer an injection to help with pain and breathing at 2. John thanked him for giving him no pain. He then dozed. At around 4 he wanted to rise from his chair to use the commode and move to his bed for a rest. I was helping him up, and although he stood, he couldn’t sustain it and fell back into his chair. A second attempt also failed, and he was in danger of slipping onto the floor. I phoned 999, and while I was on the phone to the call centre, he lost consciousness and then quickly slipped away. The ambulance crew were great, and settled him peacefully in bed and did all the paperwork for me. So now I’m just sitting on the settee beside his bed, as I’ve done so often before, and still find myself looking across to check he is comfortable. The funeral director has called and they’ll come to take him to rest at around nine.
So I’m in floods of tears, but so glad he went quickly and indeed peacefully, and I was with him and stroking his face at the very end.
We’ve had longer than we thought we would, and more good times than bad in the months of lockdown. So I’m very upset, but also relieved that he passed so quickly and peacefully when he had just really begun to suffer.
I’m going to be arranging a tiny funeral, in keeping with John’s wishes and the spirit of the current times – and then hope that next Spring I will be able to have a memorial service and interment of ashes in our lovely churchyard in Redisham, when more can gather, and we can wish him a joyful and celebratory goodbye.
Jan
12th October 2020